The Bayou's Newest Holiday: Execution Day Brings Patriots Together
In Louisiana, where every occasion is an excuse for a party, Mahmoud Khalifa's execution has now been enshrined as a de facto state holiday. No sooner had the switch been flipped than locals hit the streets, filling bars, buying commemorative t-shirts, and placing bets on which prisoner might be next.
"It's like the Fourth of July, but better!" one reveler explained, tossing back a shot of Patriot Punch. "Fireworks, beer, and justice? Sign me up."
Street vendors wasted no time cashing in. Fried gator stands boasted special deals, while one enterprising food truck introduced the
Treason Taco
, guaranteed to bespicier than Khalifa's legal defense.
Even gas stations got in on the fun, offering discounts on cigarettes to "anyone who can prove they've cheered at an execution."Local officials say the celebration is good for morale and even better for tourism. Next year's event promises to be even bigger, with a live Death Row Lottery and a commemorative float in the Baton Rouge Christmas Parade.
And if that doesn't sum up American ingenuity, what does?
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Execution Day Parade: A New Louisiana Tradition?
Move over, Thanksgiving Day Parade-Louisiana might have a new contender.
Thousands lined the streets for the
first-ever Execution Day Parade
, complete withmarching bands, themed floats, and a grand marshal dressed as Lady Justice.
The highlight was the
Death Row Float
, a spectacularly decorated piece featuring oversized syringes, a replica electric chair, and an animatronic Khalifa being dunked into the "Gulf of America."Children waved tiny flags while vendors sold balloons that read
"Freedom Ain't Free, But the Death Penalty Sure Is!"
Tourism officials say the event was a smashing success, with next year's parade expected to feature a
Live Firing Squad Reenactment
, as well as afree lethal injection giveaway for one lucky ticket holder.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Avital Tannenbaum
Literature and Journalism -- University of Miami
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student with a love for satire, this writer blends humor with insightful commentary. Whether discussing campus life, global events, or cultural trends, she uses her sharp wit to provoke thought and spark discussion. Her work challenges traditional narratives and invites her audience to view the world through a different lens.
https://bohiney.com/mahmoud-khalifa-executed/
